If you are just joining me....

Today I took my baby to kindergarten roundup.  I can not believe he is going to be 5 and going to kindergarten.  I am terrified that he will not do well in kindergarten.  I pull out all the stops and get him the help and resources he needs but every day is like a shot in the bucket. 

Sensory processing disorder touches our lives.  It in fact is the way we live.  How did we get here... when Espen turned 3 we saw the pediatrician we had been seeing since he turned one and I had a list of odd things and behaviors.  I felt (knew) like he was not like other kids.  I had been telling her for 2 years already and I was made to feel like I was over reacting.  UM NO.  I left that appoi

ntment in tears with a little boy who was as cute as a button but could not handle simple tasks, was failing preschool, who ate everything, who could not go to the grocery store with me and who preferred to be naked and covered in mud no matter what the season.  I was out of my wits with concerns and questions and problems. 

I stumbled into Pediatric Therapy Center, literally walked in crying.  I was so desperate for some help for my little boy and I had no place to turn.  The kindest person helped me figure out how to get an appointment and we were in to see them for an assessment.  And suddenly SOMEONE listened to me.  Someone who did not tell me he was just being a boy.  He whipped around in that gym as fast as his little legs could carry him and it was ok.  It was here that we learned about sensory processing disorder.  We started going to PTC 3 times a week.  Then I read all the information I could find and asked millions of questions.  I sat quietly in the therapy gym watching what they did with my child so we could do it at home.  I invested hundreds into sensory equipment for home.  I try everything. 

My child has sensory processing disorder.  He looks just like every other little boy his age.  The information his brain receives from all his senses is not organized or processed into the right response.  He does not feel pain very well.  He smells things I never detect.  He hears better than I ever could.  The slightest touch of clothing or hands bother him.  He eats weird things.  He crashes into things with reckless abandon because for him it feels great.  He does not get dizzy.  He struggles to hold a pencil.  The list can go on.  Basically he is constantly seeking making him appear wild, unruly, naughty, unfocused.  His brain is wired differently and he needs help learning how to process the information he is getting from all those sensations.  Thankfully we have found a therapy center we love. 

The changes in Espen over the last year have been amazing.  Sitting and watching it looks like fantastic play.  He gets to use all kinds of amazing equipment and play circus like games.  He draws and writes and then jumps and swings.  It is great fun and he never complains about going.  It is occupational therapy and it has helped my child be able to hold his spoon and feed himself, put his shoes on and tie them, write his name and other letters and numbers.  He gains an understanding of hard and soft touches and listening to his body to know fast and slow. 

We do similar activities at home. We have a swing and scooter board and trampolines.  He has more ride on toys than a toy store.  He takes a bath when he wants to not just at night.  We have climbing things inside and outside.  We build and jump and crash.  He swims as often as we can both with me and at Swimtastic where he has taken lessons for two years.  They are amazing and help him be social and appropriate and in the water safely.  He takes a yoga class taught by an occupational therapist so he can get a greater understanding of his body and breathing.  He is in a specialized preschool so he can get some boost up for next year. 

I surround Espen with opportunities and try to be just like every other family.  I expose him and sometimes we fail and sometimes we find something he likes.  I apologize when necessary and I cry when overwhelmed.  Our family is like one little sensory road show!  I spend time and money doing the things that work for my child.  I listen and I learn so that I can help Espen.

So as my child approaches an age milestone I am both happy and terrified.  I am not sure how he will manage in kindergarten.  I am terrified that it will be overwhelming and we will find him struggling along.  But I am certain we will find the tools we need to help and we will wildly face a new day learning how to be one sensational kid!