Locker room

Last week at one of our many trips to the pool I had a situation arise that has had me thinking for a week.  Espen is 4.  There are very few places I will allow him to use the restroom without me being at least in the same vicinity. Most of the time I make him use the ladies room and allow him in the stall unassisted but I am right there.  Sure you may be thinking GEESH WOMAN GIVE HIM SOME ROOM.  Let me assure you I know my child.  

Until recently, my child, played in everything - water in sink, toilet, toilet paper, soap, towels.  He locks stalls and crawls under.  He has totally undressed and come out stark naked.  Heaven forbid you (a total stranger) use a stall next to him because he will just crawl in there and chat with you - all of this has happened to me.  Even when we are with Doug he uses the ladies room because urinals are a whole different set of germs and questions and discussions (with dad and strangers).  Outhouses are my enemy if you can imagine why...

When I take him to the pool for lessons or to swim with him I do not allow him in the locker room alone.  Swim lessons we are the only ones there so I can use the boy locker room for training grounds.  I try to let him in there alone and usually I just end up with him.  He plays and does not think things through very well. But I let him try and we are in a safe place that I can go into.  The public pool however is a whole different adventure!  For starters, it has two exits so there is no chance I will let him in the boy locker room alone.  I will never find him!  He is young and cute and lacks stranger danger (worst nightmare).  He is curious about how things work and it would not surprise me if he jammed a roll of toilet paper into the sink to stop it up just because he could.  I could list 300 other reasons why I will not let him go and change alone. 

Let me remind you HE IS FOUR. 

At the pool last week, we swam together.  I swim and play with him.  We both have to change to come home being it is the artic here.  Into the girls locker room we go as we do each time we go to the pool.  I keep it FAST and we change and get out.  On this particular day there was an aqua class about to happen so women were getting ready and a mom (who had not swam) with 4/5 year old daughter whom she was helping to change back to street clothes. 

As I was rushing to get dressed and help Espen, all the ladies just ignored us because I work really hard at keeping his attention on me so he is less curious about anyone else.  It is exhausting.  But the mom with the little girl made very loud comments to her daughter to keep covered up a boy was watching, that it was no place for a boy, that boys belong with the men... to the point of annoying and frustrating me.  My son could not even see the little girl.  So I rushed us out of there, wet hair and shoes in hand that I put on in the lobby thinking the whole time about it.  (Three days later I have a terrible head cold)!

Would that same mom send her daughter into the ladies locker room to change alone (didn't seem so)?  Would she send her 4/5 year old son into the men's locker room to change?  I would totally use a family locker room if one were available.  There is a restroom near by but it is for the gym area as well and seems odd to take a wet child into it.  Where and what exactly should I do with my small little boy who is not able to go alone?

It was super frustrating.  I know there will come a day when I will have to send him in alone and pray that he will not do anything ridiculous.  That day is pretty far off still.  I know my son.  Please excuse us and don't judge me when my son comes into a ladies restroom with me. I am a mom who knows he is only 4 and just not ready for it.  I do my absolute best to keep him focused and we rush in and out.  It is the best I can do.  I apologize if a little boy makes you uncomfortable.  He could care less about body parts.  He is more curious about a million other things (like the locks, getting into the lockers, putting on shoes that are laying there and pestering me 400 times if I have any money for the candy machine).  I can assure you however, that if you draw attention to him, he will look and make some comments in your direction.  I just don't know about people sometimes......