Hair cut day

Sometimes I reach that point where I am just so worried about my child and for the life of me I can't find a way around the problem we are living at the moment that I get consumed with "every single little thing".  I was at that point today.  The breaking point.  

The point of exhaustion and worry.  The point where you would rather withdraw from most things that face the weird things.  That point when gut wrenching fear for what is going on with your child overwhelms the little joy.  The point when you just can not see the forest for the trees.  I was there.  It just happens ~ we all break.

And then something tiny happened.  

Every day Espen's teacher and I brainstorm the "what next".  Because every day something new and huge and off happens and we have 7 weeks of school and we need him to settle into it again.  Today, she softly suggested that his wild and untamed hair is distracting him.  I took a deep breath and decided that I needed to get it cut because it is unkempt.  

Hair cuts are NO JOKE in our family.  We struggle with them.  Espen can not stand the electric clippers and we have never met anyone who will use scissors on his curls.  He does not like it to be combed EVER.  He is sensitive all the way around his head.  Hair cuts are a horrible thing that causes stress, fear and anxiety.  I comb it out morning or night but it is a mess of curls and has not been trimmed since the fall.  

We went to a new place on the way home.  I walked in with him, no appointment, no line.  Feeling strung out and dragging a child who was NOT GETTING HIS HAIR CUT.   

This stranger asked his name and invited him to her chair.  She sprayed him with water and used an amazing leave in conditioner to tame the tangles.  To my surprise she chatted calmly with him while quickly whipping out the tangles.  Then she grabbed her scissors and proceeded to trim his curls.  She was quiet, calm and fast.  She listened to his little boy chatter and interacted with him.  

She had no idea he is terrified of the clippers or that hair cuts are horrible for him.  I did not feel up for warning her today ~ we were already a mess walking in the door.  

I cried.  Because she was kind.  Because she had no idea that some days in this moms life the HARDEST things happen and we just deal.  I cried because she treated him like he mattered.  

I stood there and watched my son enjoy a hair cut for the first time in nearly 7 years.  I cried.