Shopping

As odd as it is, I have not taken Espen to the store for quite some time.  Shopping is rough with him. Has always been.  No matter the store.  No matter the reward for good behavior of the consequence for bad behavior. 

Last week, because of bad timing, I have had to take him to Sam's, Whole Foods & Walmart Market. And it was not good.  Before we went in... he was perfect (as perfect as Espen can be). As soon as we stepped foot inside any of the stores, it was if he were possessed by wild spirits. Jumping, spinning, crashing onto the floor, wiggling, wandering off.  What should have been painless and quick turned into stressful long excursions.

It frustrates and infuriates me.  Because I think "we should be able to handle this".  And we get home, exhausted and frazzled.  We both do something that is calming and when I have a moment to think I always go back to Sensory Processing Disorder.

SPD affects the way a child processes messages sent to his brain from any of the five main senses -- sight, hearing, taste, smell, and touch. He might have mild sensory intolerances or he might find it extremely difficult to handle sensory stimulation (such as when he's at a busy grocery store or a loud sports event). Normally, if a child is tapped on the shoulder, his nervous system informs his brain that he received a light touch. For a child with SPD, the message can get misinterpreted and the child may feel that he was hit hard. Or the message may get completely lost, leaving him unaware that he's been touched at all, explains Lucy Jane Miller, Ph.D., founder of STAR Center, an SPD therapy and research facility in Greenwood Village, Colorado. Most kids with SPD are a mixture of both over- and under-sensitive, which explains why inconsistent behavior is a hallmark of the disorder, adds Lindsey Biel, an occupational therapist (OT) in New York City and coauthor of Raising a Sensory Smart Child.

Two lesser-known senses that can be affected by SPD are the vestibular and proprioceptive systems. They detect incoming sensory information, which is then delivered to the brain. Vestibular refers to movement sensations such as swinging or going down a slide. The proprioceptive system provides information to the muscles and joints, like telling the legs to apply more pressure when walking up stairs than when walking on flat ground, for example. If messages from the proprioceptive system get confused in the brain, a child might appear to be excessively clumsy or aggressive because he's not aware of how much force he's applying.

Continuously receiving jumbled messages can be frustrating for a child, and his inexplicable reactions to everyday happenings can be confusing to his parents. His behavior can become even more unpredictable when he's asked to transition from one activity to another, as was the case with Charlie. When a child's nervous system is working so poorly, it can take him a long time to focus and settle into what he's doing, explains Biel. Asking him to turn his attention to something new could be just too much for him. ~ excerpt from Parents because honestly it is a good description.  

And thus I am grossly reminded of all the stimulation and sensory interactions that take place in a crowed supermarket.  Things I don't notice.  People, smells, sounds, actual items on shelves and so much more.  These very things are what cause Espen to struggle.  They are the reasons he can be "perfect" just prior and just after.  Once inside the store, he is just manically overwhelmed.

It seems natural in that regard to NEVER shop with him!  Yet that is just not practical nor is it helpful to him in the future when he will navigate the world with less help from me.  It is my job to try to help him figure out how to maneuver situations that are challenging and just really hard.  So in a few weeks I will be brave and try taking him with me to the store.  And I will try to be prepared!