Just like every other child

Today I was reminded of something super important to me.  That my child be just like every other child. 

For his first years I tried every way imaginable to set up play dates, join classes and participate in every opportunity possible so that he could be exposed to situations and experiences just like everyone else.  There was no simple or easy solution to get him involved. 

It was hard work and dedication.  It was countless excuses and rushed exits.  It was tears in the car before we could drive away hurt, shamed or angered.  I felt different and very alone.  I kept trying.  I knew something was not right but the pediatrician left me feeling that I was just overly worried, that all the crazy was not so bad and that he was just a little boy.  REALLY.  Then why did I clean so much poop, have more run away stories than most, call poison control so often the number is a saved contact and never really have a good experience with play or social interactions.  I kept trying because I wanted my child to have experiences just as equally as everyone else did. 

It is hard to sign up knowing your child will wiggle, run, jump, talk, run (yes he is a runner), be unfocused, hit, hide or scream like he is on fire.  It is hard to keep going to class after class and see the stares, never have a mom chat with me, never have a friend for Espen and know you are THAT MOM.  Hard to keep trying and going when it seems like it is more often a fail then a success. 

I sat for countless swim lessons watching my child just randomly jump in the water.  A life guard had to sit next to him to keep him from doing it ~ for a long time.  Hard to sign up when I feared they would tell me we just were to much for any of the teachers.  Hard to sign up when I was exhausted and frazzled and just wanted to cry.  Yet I went and paid and they helped him learn to swim.  and even when I cried they showed compassion and they let us keep coming.  We adjusted some things to make it better for Espen and he got it!   

I sat for numerous learn to ice skate lessons that became hockey lessons.  I watched from the bleachers after specifically telling them he was sensitive to noise, the melt down start.  I watched them loose him one day and knew he was hiding under the players bench.  I watched generally alone until his tears about not wanting to go made me just stop. 

Beyond that I have tried gymnastics, roller skating and Gymboree.  We have done swim lessons at the public pools in the summer just to interact and have had disastrous consequences.  When I tell you my child can swim and he will not have patience blowing bubbles, listen to me!  I have witnessed my child get into deep water and no one notice him (I always wear a swim suit and I always watch).  I have done it without a mom to visit with.  We have gone to summer day camps at the Omaha Zoo and Fontenelle Forest.  We have tried play dates out the wazoo with strangers and familiar faces in all sorts of settings.  I have done it over and over for 4 years.  Sometimes we are successful and sometimes we fail horribly. 

But the opportunity for these experiences are opportunities every single child should have.  Every single child should have the chance to try a lesson without judgment.  So I keep trying for my child.  We are signed up for soccer this spring.  The first organized sport.  Succeed or fail we will be there.  My son can tell you.... we never quit... we try.  And try we must!

So I tell everyone who wants to listen to me about Sensory Processing Disorder.  I tell anyone who cares to stop that my child is sensitive to sound or motion or music or smell (just depends on day).  I tell them so that perhaps my child can not be judged so harshly when he melts down or has a problem.  I tell them so they can have compassion.  I tell them so that we can experience things.   I may not make a difference but then again, I may!  I want my child to have the same experiences! 

So my message is to keep trying moms of sensory kids!  Keep putting your little ones in the lesson, the play date, the experience because just every so often there will be that one experience that they get... and it will be amazing!