Little Germ Boy

Let me be very clear.... My kid is cool.  And he is relatively clean (he showers every single night before bed).

But every dam day I find my self saying things I never thought I would say.  I say them with gusto, conviction and often at the top of my lungs.  Things like "GET YOUR FOOT OUT OF YOUR MOUTH" or "stop picking your nose" or "FLUSH THE FREAKING TOILET" or "get your socks out of the living room" or "don't let the dog lick your mouth"......  I could go on, but you get the idea.
I am 100% certain that most of us have yelled at least that.
The real issue is that I actually have to keep saying it. Over and over.  How hard is it to keep your foot out of your mouth?  And can you really not remember to flush each and every time you go to the bathroom?  If you can't remember, WHY?  We have tissue, can you use one?  No, well hum....  your finger is really to big to get the job done.  Do you know you have a laundry basket and the dirty sweaty little socks should go in the basket so that they can be washed after the sweat dries and they stand up alone?  The dog eats poop.  The dog licks its own butt.  The dog has no business licking your face so push him away.  No it is not because he loves you that he is licking you....He probably smells your feet on your face because you were licking your foot....  just STOP.

The real issue is probably not that I actually say these things over and over... the issue is that your little body is a mess of nasty germs and still want me to hug and kiss you.  That is just disgusting. And yucky.

Don't get me wrong.  My child is super cool.  And I adore him.  And I still spend my fair share of time kissing on him when he tolerates it.  Imagine just how grossed out I can get if I think to long about it.  In essence I have just kissed the dogs butt when I kissed my child's cheek. In theory, I just plunged my face into the un-flushed toilet when I hugged my kid.  That nasty little sock I picked up is no cleaner than licking the bottom of my shoe.  Those fingers I insist on holding when we are crossing the street have been so far in a nose, on a foot and never washed that I might as well wallow in a pig sty while I eat my lunch.   Yea... pretty dang nasty to be a mom.

Kids are full of terrible filth.  They are built to withstand more germs than I can imagine.  They are flat out gross.  But we love them.  We tolerate those sticky little beings touching us.  We keep yelling the same things and requiring them to do the same things... flush, wash, pick, wash, etc.  They don't. One day... one day they will.  At least in my situation I hope one day he will!

So after you hug your kid... go wash.  (And for sure, after you hug mine... wash yourself)!