It is connected... but barely

We are approaching the "mid year" mark in our story.  November is a time that most welcome winter or a change of the season at least.  For the last 7 years it has marked the half birthday for my son and a time when I post a note & pics to his birth mom.

There are so many thoughts I have at this moment after reading an adoption story, the situation in our current political environment and speaking with a real human today I am overwhelmed with blessing, concern and conviction.  Bear with me as I try to bring them all together ...

The blessing is that our adoption story is amazing and Espen's birth mom is amazingly brave and strong.  I have said it repeatedly for over 7 years.  Nothing I can ever do compares to her act of selfless love when she gave me this beautiful little boy to raise.  And he is a blessing.  In all of his wiggly wild enthusiasm for life, he is never a burden.  He constantly teaches me how to let go and live fully in a different way than I had ever imagined.  He completes each of us in much different ways and our love for him just continues to grow.  While I am full of gratitude, not all adoptions go as ours did.  Today I was brought to tears by the story I read and the love an adoptive couple showed to a birth mom in encouraging her to do what was best for her and the baby she carried and loved. While they were supportive, their immediate family was less than and it made the situation hard.  It is not an easy decision and one few can fully appreciate.  I am blessed to have Espen's birth mom in my life and my prayer is she knows that.

I am raising a boy in a world of unjust and unrest.  I am raising my son to have respect for himself and others.  I am raising him in a world where we value materials more than life.  Where we communicate with technology more than personal interactions.  A world where nearly every move we make has potential to be caught on camera and recorded for life.  I am raising him in a world in which mistakes may haunt him.  Unfortunately, we are also faced with many more issues because of the color of his beautiful skin.  I am raising a son in a world in which his appearance before his actions may be the first thing someone reacts to and it may have terrible consequences.  I sit and watch all the debates.  I read political posts and commentary.  I am concerned and honestly afraid for all of us when we decide if it is better to elect a criminal or a sexist racist bigot.  It is a terrible decision and one we will all live with.  But no matter who runs our political system, I have the duty to behave and teach my son what matters.  I will pray that my concerns are never materialized.  And that what I impart onto him is enough.

This unrest in our world leads me to my last thoughts for today.  I volunteer at the school.  It was not easy to get to be a volunteer at this small school, but I was persistent.  While volunteering today I pondered why they are not asking for parent volunteers for an upcoming book fair.  I know there are parents that would give one or two hours for the fair when they may not be able to regularly.  I know there are new parents to the area who come from other schools like we did who are used to giving time.  I had a dialog with a great woman in which I stressed that there are many who may not be able to give financially (and frankly we are asked so often for money that we simply tire of being asked) but there are plenty of other ways we can give and one of them is of our time.  People would help if she asked.  I am positive of it.  I have first hand knowledge that many of the parents I speak with would give time when they were asked especially when other resources are limited.  I pointed out that my son sees me give my time and interact with people.  Through me, he is learning the importance of helping and giving your time.  He does not just see me give money.   There is value in human connection and being part of the school and community adds value to my life and that of my family. We should all be working at building those relationships, looking at people, connecting.

Because if we can connect with people, the unrest in the world may not be so terrible for all of us.  We may be able to make it to something better if we can connect.  We may see less skin tones and more human tones.  This is the world I am raising my blessing in.  One that I am navigating for both of us right now.  One I am going to do my part in so that he has the best possible path for his journey.
This month, when I send pictures and a note to his birth mom, I am going to tell her all about his connections and how much I adore being his mom and how cool his dad is.  And in this way my friends, there is a connection for my child to the wonderful woman who gave birth to him and to the woman who is raising him and to the world in which we live.