Tooth Fairy

Epic mom (and dad) FAIL.

Espen has lost 3 teeth.  THREE.  And twice now we have failed the "tooth fairy" duty. 



this of course is what she looks
like as we have watched this
movie about 400 times

That is correct.  We (although I am not sure what role my husband plays in this nonsense) have forgotten to take the freaking tooth out of the box and leave him some money.  And this obsessive child BELIEVES in the tooth fairy.  And I think believing in things you can't see or feel is quite ok.... except I guess I have to be on top of my game not drinking Moscow mules and reading captivating books late into the night....
The first time he had the tooth box under his pillow.  When he woke at 6am COMPLETELY UPSET that she forgot (yes dam it she sure did ~ what the hell) I decided to LIE and tell him it was probably just to early or that she came but could not find it under the pillow.  Thankfully he lay in the bed with me and watched Netflix that early and I snuck out and made things right.  So about 7am daddy was leaving and casually asked if the tooth fairy came and they went to check.  WOOP WOOP... that lazy fairy had finally made it.  Her bag of teeth that day must have been incredibly heavy causing her to fly slow and late.  So he got the dollar and I swore I'd be better at this nonsense. 

Yesterday he lost a tooth.  Oh man he was thrilled and excited.  It is a top front tooth that he popped out in the driveway and found.  He carried that stinking tooth for about an hour and made me look at it and the gap repeatedly.  Loosing a tooth is a HUGE deal to my child.  He worries on the hole, on the tooth, on eating... He gets anxious and over excited.  He talked about the tooth fairy coming for HOURS.  And because he remembers things that I think inconsequential he recalled that lazy tooth fairy forgot him last time.... OH YES SHE DID... she would not fail this time.  (It was probably her minions, the little teeth that were so negligent). 

Last night he left the tooth in the box on his window sill (above the bed so it was very clear to her) and he left an extra box just in case she wanted to leave a little something extra for forgetting last time. He had a hard time falling asleep because these things over excite him.  And at 6:30am he was in my bed waking me from REM sleep with a TOOTH IN MY FACE AND A SAD TEARY "mommy she forgot me again"..... (oh crap).  (Guess the mules kicked me).

FAIL.  fail.  fail. (can you just see me suddenly awake, doing a forehead smack and quick thinking how to make it right).... And the husband walks out of the bathroom and leans over to whisper to me "great job ~ mom of the year"....

So I had to be all indignant and upset for him (apparently our tooth fairy is quite lazy).  I quick on the spot made up a story about how perhaps she just doesn't get here so dang early.  And derf she probably did not know which box to look in (she is also quite dumb).  So he put the tooth (yes, the tooth, not the tooth in a box) next to us in the bed and lay quietly for awhile.  Daddy finally convinced him to put the tooth back in the box in his room and we could see if maybe that lazy tooth fairy would still come...

And thank the lucky stars above ~ SHE DID!!  Left a little dirty foot print and took the tooth and left a real paper dollar..... HOLY CRAP.... If we had tried again tonight I am quite positive I'd have forgotten twice in a row and that would not be acceptable mom behavior.  Now he has two stories about how the tooth fairy forgot him... he will not forget that, it doesn't matter that he has some cash... If I keep this up, we will be paying for our forgetfulness (Ch-Ching).  

maybe we need this instead
of the box under the pillow so
that when I pass his door I can REMEMBER!!


So if you also have a lazy, dumb, messy tooth fairy do not despair... she apparently needs to focus on the task of being a good fairy instead of lazing about leaving messes and partaking in mixed drinks....

I have now told him that he must brush his teeth really well and use only one box and not wake up so early....  I have lots of teeth to go.... maybe I will get it right the next time..... 

We belong no where and yet we belong everywhere

For days now I have been hyperventilating over this... We belong no where and yet we belong everywhere. 

Let me explain.

From early, I knew, deep in my "mom gut" that my child was just different.  Weird.  Wild.  Strange.  Curious.  Sensitive.  And for years, that's right, YEARS, I was advised to just let him be a boy, that I was to high strung, that it was all normal and since he was an only and adopted (there is that) I may not know what the early years are like.  We just never fit in or belonged with anyone, anywhere.  Well at age 3 we discovered he has sensory processing disorder.  OH JOY!  We had a name for some of his peculiar habits and we had some resources to help him!  Imagine my elation! 

But we still had problems and issues.  Concerns.  Behaviors that were startling and not typical I could not explain.  We could not do things that typical families can do ~ play dates, library visits, shopping, vacation.  We lived, we often joked, in a fortress because our home is chemical free (he eats things), locked down (he is a runner) and nothing ever gets moved (causes anxiety).  We were just not normal.  We did not belong.  Finally, he was enrolled in the Early Childhood Preschool through the public school and we were happy that someone may see his issues in a new way. 

The summer before kindergarten, we busted our family getting services.  We fired a pediatrician and found a new one.  He was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD.  We were struck with disbelief in the beginning but digested that information with relief because YES indeed that diagnosis explained much of our differences.  After several months of services and the very hard decision to medicate, some behaviors leveled off but there were still major issues.  Our pediatrician also diagnosed him with autism. 

Because of the 'system' he was tested at several places (we completed a crap ton of paperwork).  The school district does not recognize him on the spectrum, but because of education and behavior concerns he qualified for an IEP.  Yet we can see some of his peculiar habits and they can not be discounted.  He learns and behaves differently.  It is not an excuse, it is our reality.  It is still hard to belong. 

So back to my early statement.... We belong no where and yet we belong everywhere. 

He is learning to manage pretty well but there are triggers that drive him crazy and he just can't always find a way through it.  He plays and responds differently.  Crazy follows us like a bad stink and we sometimes walk away feeling like complete lunatics.  

The thing I mull over late at night is that we keep trying.  We keep doing our best.  We keep exposing him to situations and adventures.  Sometimes we fail and we take a break.  Sometimes we succeed!  We have made fantastic friends that just take the good and the bad.  We find groups that accept our particular level of wild and deal with us anyway.  We belong everywhere.  We found a village.  And that discovery takes its toll on mom.  It is constant work, education, communication and patience.  Yet my child needs to feel like he belongs... I keep on. 

I hope to inspire others.  I hope to share our story, our strengths and our journey.  Because raising a child with any special need is exhausting and trying.  It is full of appointments, meetings, paperwork, telling and re-telling.  There is a lot of tears and just as much laughter.  There are dark days and nights.  There is little sleep.  There is fear for your child and for yourself.  There are days you will not belong anywhere and then you will belong somewhere. Keep fighting... it will be worth it.