in response

I just clicked on a link from a friends page on face book ~ here is the article ~ and I was in disbelief and disheartened.  Every day I work to educate and inform people about what our family faces with ADHD, ODD and high functioning autism.  Our story and life is the same as some but hugely different then most.  While it is always good to share information... ADHD is a real problem... This article was written in 2012 and by a woman who has written several books (one of which I have read).  One of her points is that ADHD is on the rise.  Common statistics demonstrate a huge increase in numbers of ADHD diagnosis ~ numbers jumping from 3% in 1987 to 11% in 2014.... anyone want to remember that the population has increased drastically in those years?!  

 

The above referenced article discusses why the French have virtually no cases of ADHD.  The European nation has a vastly different view of many things and tolerance for artifical ingredients is much different then it is in the US. They also have different maternity programs, educational systems and vacation/leave for family time. In many Europen countries, there is still the attitude of raising children as a village while we see it as a unit and rely on self and the screen. It is comparing apples to oranges in many instances.

These articals get me fired up and here is why.... For 5 long years I did absolutly everything in my power and ability for my child and yet he had issues, problems and huge concerns that were not addressed by regular and repeated visits to the pediatrician. For five long hard years we were fighting an invisible force and we were terribly alone in our struggles with seeing how DIFFERENT our child was from his peers and not having one single answer as to why.  We had become fairly isolated becasue play dates ended in disaster.  We could not take him to stores, restaurants or on vacation without some huge issues and problems.  There are few people who can accept and tolerate the level of activity we bring to any situation.   We did an elimiation diet and still he eats very few processed foods, artifical colors or preservatives.  We could not teach him basic "preschool" information because we were managing safety, running and behavior concerns.  His behavior and hyperactivity created dynamic problems once he entered school.  There were days we both were in tears with the teacher or the principal becasue of some huge and terrible problem. I disipline him harshly by US standards. I have spanked, taken things, done immediate time out and walked out of places with a screaming child because of bad hyper behavior. I am THAT MOM. And still my child has behavioral and sensory problems.

The notion that I have not taught my child self control and that I use medication to mask behaviors that can be changed is frustrating. We hear it from family, friends and others that if we were just more strict, more structured, more...... (fill in the blank) then our child would behave better. In reality his little brain DOES NOT make the same chemicals that mine or yours or your childs makes and he is NOT able to control himself.  No amount of sleep, food adjustments, discipline will manage that. It won't matter if his gut is healthy when he punches your child for making a loud noise or runs out of the school because he felt like the walls were to close, or pulls the hair of the little girl next to him because it was swinging and bothering his vision. It won't matter how many times I spank him or put him in time out he will still not be able to sit in the chair or at his desk and write his name on the paper.  It doesn't matter the amount of preparation we put into going to a simple store, as soon as we hit the door the lights, sounds, people, stimuli make his skin crawl and his mind engulfed in frenzy.  All the external stimuli that most parents think cute and great drives my child insane.  Yet it is how our schools are, how our shops are, how our lives are... full of STUFF.  It is all this that distracts him, and makes his mind a jumble of nonsense. And yet the best place for him to learn at this moment is the public school and it is here that we have to learn to function.

The choice and decision to medicate my 6 year old came with much prayer and a very heavy heart. It is a decision I have to wake up to each and every single morning. It is not easy. But the alternative is watching my child fail. The diagnosing doctor once asked me as I was complaining about medicating my then 5 year old, to remove my glasses and drive home. Impossible. As is it with his medication... it is impossible for him to function.   With medication, he can be better able to function, better able to sit and take in the information, better able to ride his bike and not crash into people, better able to stay with a grown up and not run away, better able to make choices himself that are healthy. With medicaiton he can do "normal and typical" things ~ and that is what every mom dreams about. Without medication he is struggling to just be in his skin and his body can not take in any more information.  Medication does not change my child.  It does not take away his impulses.  It does not make him listen or function.  It gives his brain the ingredients it needs that he can not get anywhere else so that he may be open to receiving the information and learn the abilities to cope.   

ADHD is on the rise in the US. Absolutely because there are more people in our America.  The DSM has lumped more things under the umbrella so the prevalence is greater.  Absolutely some of it may be attributed to a generation of people who find it easier to medicate.  Medicating has become a societal norm perhaps. 

 

We have decided as a society that recess, outside time, play, discovery, family time are all less important than test scores, screen time, checking that app, watching that video and playing that game.  We should ask ourselves what kind of world are we creating.... We hide in our homes as single family units and we keep our issues and concerns to ourselves.  We don't ask for help from our neighbors or friends because of the embarrassment, stigma and frustration level that it may cause.  We take art, sports, recess, music out of schools because kids need to be smarter and study harder.  Maybe some of these contribute ~ maybe none of them.  Because even if I lived in France, my child WOULD BE MISSING SOME HUGE CHEMICAL COMPOUND IN HIS BRAIN.  And it would be hard for him to function.  As his parent, I may have to work less to provide him healthy food, a healthy environment and a village of people around us. 

 

Medication aids him.  It is a crutch for a broken leg, glasses for poor vision, a cough drop for a scratchy cough.  It is an aid.  Medication does not cure him.  It is something we face for LIFE. We work each day to teach him how to be part of this society we are all building. For him, medication is beneficial and at this moment, life saving.