"That kid has PROBLEMS"

We recently returned home from a trip to Colorado.  We were mainly there for a family visit but we took time to enjoy some "tourist" activities.  Every morning Espen woke up and asked if we could go in the mountains and have a picnic.  (The last time we were in CO we spent a couple nights in Breckenridge and I believe that made an impression).  Plus the mountains provided trails, solitude, quiet and lots of gross motor crashing that he finds calming.  We made sure to take time to do that in between the busy tourist activities with the family. 

It is always a challenge to be away from home.  Our routine is thrown out the window.  Our eating is messed up.  The beds are all different.  For a child like Espen it is much more than that.  The sights of a strange place.  The smells.  The sounds.  The strange routines of other people and children.  And while he tried and we tried to maintain good behavior, there were several times he had to be removed from situations and either calmed or corrected.

He is not a bad child.  He is not wild.  He is sensitive to all sensory stimuli.  Where 'normal' children can tune things out, Espen can not.  He is rough because his pain sensors feel things differently.  He is NON stop because he just has to get all he can!  His behavior is not the result of poor parenting (although I suppose it may appear that way).  So imagine my surprise when I heard "that kid has problems".... "medication may be the answer".... "you are mean and a bad influence"...when we had thought we had done a pretty decent job of educating our families about is disorder. 

Yes I suppose Espen does have problems.  He has a disorder that is strange to most people.  He has parents who read about it and learn about it and purchase equipment most families don't have to even consider.  We limit his sugar and color intake because we notice a drastic change in behavior.    We remove him to calm or correct him... and we do so quickly.  Maybe his problem is that I am present all the time. 

At the present date we do not think medication is the answer.  Certainly if it seems as if his quality of life and education will improve with it, then we will explore all our options.  Right now he responds to therapy and constant supervision.

He is 4.  He is not mean by nature.  He is independent and curious.  He doesn't stop once he is rolling with a decision to consider the consequences.  This is typical behavior in a four year old! Children repeat what they hear.  We should all be mindful about what we say and the ears that hear it.  Espen is not a mean child.  His hugs are powerful.  His smile magnetic.  His laugh contagious.  He is unsure of his body mass in relation to that of others.  He feels little pain or pressure so seeks out the constant touch and it seems rough.  We work every day on boundaries and gentle touches. 

Sensory processing is not the same for every child.  Nor is it the same for my child every day.  Our lives are like the ocean... constantly moving.  It is hard on him and on us ~ none of us in this house know what will happen when morning comes and sometimes we go hour by hour.  And yet we keep going and do our best.   And we appreciate when someone stops and really asks what is happening and what it means and how it is.  We appreciate the non-judging curiosity of how it must be for us.  Because that is how we learned ... we asked.  We can help Espen and other children like him if we ask and answer about this strange little disorder...sensory processing