My resource Guide for my Sensational Kid

Recently a wonderful friend of mine shared a link to a fantastic page full of helpful links for a sensory kid (or really any child!).  The shared page is just full of fantastic ideas and books.  I am most excited that she shared it with me when she came across it and that for all my ramblings the issues are being heard! 

As a parent with a child I needed to read and know all I could for us both!  So while the list of resources is great I wanted to put out there one of my own that has helped us learn and grow.

A sensory diet is important in our home and we have all the latest and greatest gadgets (that we can afford). 

Books for Espen and for us have been important.  Unfortunately there are not a lot for the littlest children (I wrote my own for him) but these we have and we love to read and it is great to have family read these to him for they all get some information! 
Ellie Bean The Drama Queen
This is Gabriel
Meghan's World
I'm Not Weird I have SPD
Arnie and His School Tools
Squirmy Wormy: How I Learned to Help Myself
Why Does Izzy Cover Her Ears?
Sensitive Sam
Pickysaurus Max

I have read
The Out - Of - Sync Child
The Out - Of - Sync Child Has Fun
Raising A Sensory Smart Child
Sensational Kids
Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too Tight
Sensory Bins

I have searched and searched for fantastic sensory "toys" for him. 
Sensory Goods has been a great shop for me to get a snuggle swing, weighted lap pad & blanket and teddy bear.

His weighted vest I purchased from etsy.  The vest is fantastic and since she utilizes a vest from Land's End, he looks just like any other child with a vest.  And the weights remove easily!

Of course Amazon has tons of helpful things!  We have balance boards, scooter boards, weighted balls, fidgets, body sox and other manipulative items.  Recently we purchased Yogagorilla cards, Wicky Sticks ABC deck & the Scooter Board activity pack.  He loves choosing a letter to study or a yoga position to do with mommy! 

Fat Brain Toys is a fantastic local and online store for sensory games.  We have several fantastic games including Don't Rock The Boat, Scatterpillar, Trucky and Memory Faces Game.  These games are super easy and work small motor and the mind!  Not to mention they are fun for the whole family! 

For over 3 years I learned to deal with my "bad" son who was fast and furious a lot of the time.  Then I found a resource who listened.  And in the last 9 months I have read and borrowed, asked and researched.  I put my "free" time to use to share ideas, learn new things and get myself right so that I can best help my little boy. 

We of course have our bad days but I can always go back to what we know.  I'd love to share your resources and ideas! 

Dining Out

Listen to the news lately and you will have heard incident after incident of restaurants "banning" children after a certain hour at night.  I am actually all for it.  (Unfortunately there are also cases of just bad manners and rude behavior but that is not my point today).  I don't want my child to just eat fast food or wrapped food.  Quite the opposite.  I want him to eat at a restaurant that has nice service and atmosphere. 

I know my child.  I know our limitations.  I know that we have made messes but part of the curve has always been to clean it up.  I have been that mom under the table cleaning up spilled food before we leave because it is important.  I have made my son clean up dropped stuff before we leave an establishment.  I always tell him the same thing ~ "This place is here to serve you food, not clean up after you.  We want to be good and kind citizens."  I do not believe this is standard practice.  Before I knew we were a family with sensory issues we tried taking him to restaurants.  And I was the mom to remove him when a melt down happened so the other dinners and staff were not bothered.  Not because I am ashamed of my son, but because I it is a treat for most to dine out and I don't want that treat spoiled by our behavior.

Currently, I don't take my child to restaurants.  He is not able to sit very long, is bothered by crowds, has the wiggles and uses an outside voice more than an inside one.  Not because I don't want him to learn to behave at a nice place but because I know we are not there yet.  He has a struggle sitting at the table at home.  We will get there.  We practice manners at home.  We practice sitting in a chair at dinner for 15 minutes.  We practice quiet voices and using a fork!  When he can do it at home I will take him out to a place that doesn't serve food in a wrapper!  The Today Show mom's posted a good article about dining out with kids.  It all starts at home and then the steps to get to the fancy places.  I'm taking those steps. 

We live on a tight budget.  Going out to dinner means also paying the babysitter.  We do not do it very often.  When we do the last thing we want is to sit next to a table full of children having a hard time.  Even if the parents think things are great; children are loud by nature, they get bored and lack patience.  I love my child and I enjoy seeing children out but the last thing I want when I am going out without him is to sit near a family with unruly children. 


Judge me.

I applaud these restaurants.  I appreciate a restaurant makes this policy.  Besides let me be very honest... children have no business eating out after 8pm anyway.  (After a certain hour of the evening adult conversations and behaviors are not appropriate for children.)    

"That kid has PROBLEMS"

We recently returned home from a trip to Colorado.  We were mainly there for a family visit but we took time to enjoy some "tourist" activities.  Every morning Espen woke up and asked if we could go in the mountains and have a picnic.  (The last time we were in CO we spent a couple nights in Breckenridge and I believe that made an impression).  Plus the mountains provided trails, solitude, quiet and lots of gross motor crashing that he finds calming.  We made sure to take time to do that in between the busy tourist activities with the family. 

It is always a challenge to be away from home.  Our routine is thrown out the window.  Our eating is messed up.  The beds are all different.  For a child like Espen it is much more than that.  The sights of a strange place.  The smells.  The sounds.  The strange routines of other people and children.  And while he tried and we tried to maintain good behavior, there were several times he had to be removed from situations and either calmed or corrected.

He is not a bad child.  He is not wild.  He is sensitive to all sensory stimuli.  Where 'normal' children can tune things out, Espen can not.  He is rough because his pain sensors feel things differently.  He is NON stop because he just has to get all he can!  His behavior is not the result of poor parenting (although I suppose it may appear that way).  So imagine my surprise when I heard "that kid has problems".... "medication may be the answer".... "you are mean and a bad influence"...when we had thought we had done a pretty decent job of educating our families about is disorder. 

Yes I suppose Espen does have problems.  He has a disorder that is strange to most people.  He has parents who read about it and learn about it and purchase equipment most families don't have to even consider.  We limit his sugar and color intake because we notice a drastic change in behavior.    We remove him to calm or correct him... and we do so quickly.  Maybe his problem is that I am present all the time. 

At the present date we do not think medication is the answer.  Certainly if it seems as if his quality of life and education will improve with it, then we will explore all our options.  Right now he responds to therapy and constant supervision.

He is 4.  He is not mean by nature.  He is independent and curious.  He doesn't stop once he is rolling with a decision to consider the consequences.  This is typical behavior in a four year old! Children repeat what they hear.  We should all be mindful about what we say and the ears that hear it.  Espen is not a mean child.  His hugs are powerful.  His smile magnetic.  His laugh contagious.  He is unsure of his body mass in relation to that of others.  He feels little pain or pressure so seeks out the constant touch and it seems rough.  We work every day on boundaries and gentle touches. 

Sensory processing is not the same for every child.  Nor is it the same for my child every day.  Our lives are like the ocean... constantly moving.  It is hard on him and on us ~ none of us in this house know what will happen when morning comes and sometimes we go hour by hour.  And yet we keep going and do our best.   And we appreciate when someone stops and really asks what is happening and what it means and how it is.  We appreciate the non-judging curiosity of how it must be for us.  Because that is how we learned ... we asked.  We can help Espen and other children like him if we ask and answer about this strange little disorder...sensory processing