Why I Do This

I am the mom of a child who is a seeker. He seeks and craves sensations, especially the crashing ones! Sensory Processing Disorder is a part of our journey and lives. It is a daily struggle and joy. I am blessed to be at home with this wild messy loving super smart child. Sensory processing is a journey I am happy to share. Our experiences may make you laugh or cry. The only certainty is that there will be experiences and they will be plentiful! My son is going to weather many days and drag me along with him! Together we will discover what our journey is meant to be.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Meal TIME

As any parent can attest to.... meal times are challenging with a small person.  They only will eat one thing.  The mess.  The constant reminders to use manners and forks!  The "I don't like this" and the "more of this".  With a kid who has some sensory issues it is an even bigger deal. 

Meal times are a super challenge in our home.   Espen rarely has time to eat.  He can't stop and sit long enough!  It is a constant battle of wills and wits. 

To help with mealtime drama, we recently purchased a new kitchen table so that butts are on chairs and feet are on floor - a step stool in Espen's case.  He needed help feeling GROUNDED and the high table was not helping him feel it. (Someday I will bring my beloved table back to life!).  With the help of the OT we have a schedule.  They created little pictures to help him understand the events of his day.  Eating is one of his pictures.  I am not above bribes and so there is generally some "reward" - tv time, ipad time, special snack, running outside with no shoes or clothes on... the rewards are pretty odd sometimes. 

He doesn't have the sensation of hungry.  He has never said "Mommy I am hungry".  He knows the words and has recently been playing the I AM STARVING game.  The game is set to an annoying crying sound and he says I AM STARVING FOR COOKIE DOUGH or CHOCOLATE or WARM MILK repeatedly until my nerves crash and I just give in.  Is he starving - NO.  We have to remember and monitor when he last ate.  If we have a transition between mommy & daddy & Hannah we are good about saying he ate.  He of course behaves more wildly when he is hungry and his rollercoaster of emotions is faster when he is hungry. 

He has never demanded a favorite food.  The gag reflex is beginning to be developed and you can see him gag some foods down.  His sense of smell is one he trusts.  If it smells badly to him he will under no circumstances eat it.  I know the foods that he won't tolerate the smell of.  Texture, shape and consistency are all factors in what and when he will eat.  Today he  may like hotdogs but tomorrow they are all wrong. 

His fine motor skills are not functioning as he would like and it is very difficult for him to eat with a fork.  I like to pretend to feed him healthy foods and not just easy finger foods so I 'demand' he use utensils.  Some days it is just so hard to do that and he will choose not to eat and race off.  So I have patience and allow fingers more than most moms.  And I have to accept the mess - on him, the table, the floor.  He has been reminded so many times that he uses a napkin very politely.  What else is there if he just can't maneuver a fork or spoon to his face?  He wants the independence of feeding himself!

He has no sense for knowing how much is in his mouth.  He crams handful after handful of food into his mouth.  We often remind him to chew and swallow.  He will just keep packing food in as fast as possible so we remind him to try to feel each piece he puts in his mouth and chew it before he puts another.  It is not about eating but feeling the food.  And sometimes we forget and it all comes out in our napkins. 

I dream of a day I just get my son to sit down at the table for more than 5 seconds and he can confidently use a fork and spoon!  I try and I try!  I love the times I don't have to eat my own food at warp speed.  I also love when I get to actually eat hot food.  Because even if I can get him to sit it is for a short period and then he is off racing again.  And when he disappears it is quickly important to see what he is doing because it can get pretty bad pretty quickly. 

It took some time and understanding before I realized we are not bad parents if our child can not sit at the table for 20 minutes and eat a meal without a giant mess.  I am not a bad mom.  My child has some issues beyond our control and we can start to learn about them and understand those issues.  And we can make adjustments in how we have meals.  Sensory processing disorder impacts even the simple tasks.  It makes Espen who he is and I am thankful for him.  I am thankful for the weird meals I share with him.  I am thankful when I can put on my sweatpants and eat breakfast on the floor. I am thankful when we eat macaroni in the bathtub (IT'S OK TO BE DIFFERENT by Todd Par) I am thankful when we spend more time lining up and smashing the peas than eating them.  Because I am thankful I have the patience and ability to understand how the disorder impacts my child and family. 

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