Letting Go.... the hard parts

My little boy is soon to be 5.  A couple months ago he asked for a half pipe for his birthday.  He was told he could have one when he could ride his bike with out training wheels and without falling.  That was all it took for the determination to set in him.  We have 2 little boy bikes.  We took the trainers off the smallest of the bikes and let him get that balance.  On his own he discovered he could get speed going down a hill.  Then he asked to take the trainers off the bigger bike.  And to my wondrous eyes HE WAS RIDING HIS BIKE.  It happened so fast and with such determination.  All he asks for now is to ride his bike!  He has ridden in the sun, pouring rain and on a snowy day.  He rides fast and furious (like his life) and LOVES the speed of going down the hill.  There is nothing more frightening (besides loosing him) then seeing him flying at full speed down a steep hill and knowing he is not going to use his breaks or be able to stop. 

The hard part is letting go.  This is true of so many things.  For this momma today, the hard part is in not freaking out when he falls (and he falls).  Not stressing about the speed he whips down the hills.  Letting him go up and down the street without me.  Letting him fall and get back up.


Letting go so that he can find his way in the world.  In this one small way it is what I am doing.  I am letting go of the training wheels, letting go of his hand and sending him into the big world.  He is so determined to do it I know he will succeed.  Just like he has figured out how to ride his bike so quickly, he will learn how to do other things because of his determination. 

And just like crashing head first off his little bike, he will fall and crash.  I will always be right there.  I will take that quick prayer breath.  I will wait for his reaction.  And I will help him get back up on the bike to try again.  Or I will carry his bruised up little body home and then we will try again! 

But that letting go of him... that is the hard part.