5 Simple Play Date Rules

For all children play dates are a milestone in socialization.  For little ones, play dates are exciting and terrifying.  For a child like mine with sensory processing disorder, a play date is a wild world of stimulation and exposure.  I want him to have the same experiences as everyone and not be isolated so I try and try!   We have generally had children to our house because I can best manage situations.  I recognize however the need to branch out. 

There are tons of good reads about hosting and managing play dates for sensory children (and all children).  I have read it all so that I could be best prepared for my son's behaviors! 

I have not left him alone yet for a date because I think he still needs mom to be close by just in case.  So we were invited to a play date.  It was exciting!  Imagine my delight that he played with the other children with no screaming, fighting, pushing, shoving, tattling or meltdowns.  Then imagine my dismay, surprise and embarrassment when he decided to put on some clothes from the little boys dresser.  He then used the toilet (YEA he used the toilet alone ~ this alone is a great achievement!) and brushed his teeth with one of the toothbrushes sitting there.  Oh my I thought I would just crawl under the couch from embarrassment. 

For my child this seemed like a reasonable thing to do.  I talked to him at length.  I described a situation in which some friends came to our house and borrowed his toothbrush, lovey and most favorite hoodie.  His response was that if the kids needed to use his things he would share them because sharing is nice.  Indeed it is.  Perhaps we should all just loosen up and the world would be better. 

After a good cry, I thought about what is most important for him to remember RIGHT NOW for our next encounter.  I thought of 4 simple things to remind him of when we go to another person's home. 
#1  Do not take your own clothes off.  No exceptions to this rule ever.
#2  If you need to use the restroom, let mommy know and never touch anything except the toilet and the sink.
#3  Do not get anything out that was not already out or go into a room that was closed.
#4  Share with everyone. 
#5  Always say please and thank you. 

Maybe in a few weeks we will try again.  Maybe he will not use someone's tooth brush!  Maybe we will be invited back!  Or maybe we will just have kids over to our house for awhile longer so that we can understand our bodies, boundaries and impulse control.