Sensational Meltdown

Last week, on a blistery cold day, after visiting the dentist Espen asked to go to the "jumpy place".  It is a giant trampoline place.  We have been there a dozen times.  Both alone and with people.  It is awesome fun!  And on such a cold day, it seemed like an inexpensive way to physically pass an hour! 

We arrived & I paid.  We got the wrist bands on and I put on the special shoes and took his shoes off.  We went to the bathroom and were ready to go.  And Espen had the most glorious meltdown I have ever seen.  He started crying about not wanting to jump.  Then stood in front of me and demanded I pick him up.  Once I had him he clung to me.  He was shaking and crying.  He kept telling me he did not want to jump and that he wanted to go home.  We never made it into the trampoline.  We never made it to the stairs. 

My first instinct was to force him to jump.  I had paid for it and he had wanted to go and gosh darn we were going to do it.  But I took a deep breathe and realized my sensory kid may be trying to tell me something.  He may not have the vocabulary to tell me all that is bothering him but clearly something was not working for him.  So I held him.  I was calm.  I was reassuring.  I told him we could leave.  He cried and clung to me while I changed shoes & put his back on.  As I was putting his coat on he calmed down.  I was able to speak to a manager and was refunded the money.  We were there for a total of 10 minutes. 

As we walked into the cold day his little body relaxed and he was holding my hand, happily talking about what we could do at home.  I didn't ask any more questions about it.  He was not able to process something at the "jumpy place" that day and I had to let go of my instinct to force him into situations. 

Two days later he asked to go back.  Unfortunately it was not a day I could try.  But next time he asks, we will try again. 

There are times as Espen's mom that I think I should force him to do x, y & z... because I can see the end result or past the initial fear.  I have forced him to stay at places when he was freaking out.  I have made efforts and attempts to keep him engaged in things that were hard and he was ready to leave.  Isn't it what all mom's do!  And yet I have been reminding myself lately that these things I think are important or easy or "going to be fun" may not be for Espen.  He may find the sensations to be to much.  He may be overwhelmed and overstimulated.  It may be painfully loud or bright.  There may suddenly be a smell he can't tolerate or a feeling he can't get past.  And when I force him, maybe I make it worse. 

The "jumpy place" is but one example.  Knowing full well that we have been there and he has LOVED it I was ready to force him.  And he may have jumped.  He may have just cried.  I will never know.  But I do know that I did not put any undue stress on him when his meltdown was so sensational!  I listened as best I could to him and removed him from what triggered such a response. 

This sensory processing is not an easy thing to understand.......