Saying YES

Sometimes I watch my child doing something that is annoying or crazy and I stand there and realize that he gets told YES more than most children.  Not yes to "buy me this thing" or "can I have...." but YES to some odd activity. 

Last week it was a bit of a warm spell for winter in Nebraska.  We were not wearing shorts by any means but it was warm enough to go to the park nearly every day.  We have a favorite park, the sand park.  It has find beach like sand and a merry go round as well as digger toys and slides and swings.  The park sits next to a giant section of trails for walking or mountain biking.  Or treasure hunting!  And right down the little hill are 2 baseball fields.  It is a nice area.  We go a lot!  So it was  thawed but still wet and sloppy. 

Espen played at the park for a long time.  I play with him.  We dig in the sand, spin on merry go round and go down slides until I feel like vomiting!  This particular day he took off running down the hill toward the baseball fields.  We do it often so I know how far he can get and where he is headed!  I saw him hesitate not at all before running headlong onto the MUDDY baseball field.  There must have been at least an inch of sloppy mud, ice in spots, water in others on the field.  And off he went in his Reebok Zig shoes, Columbia coat and school clothes.  He looked at me as I approached and happily yelled "Mommy I found some mud, want to play with me?". 

My gut response was GET OUT OF THE FREAKING MUD... we are not close by the house, it is cold, I don't want mud all over my car.... my list of reasons to get out were quickly replaced with my verbal response to him "no I'll just watch you and stand right here!"... And for 30 minutes he delighted both of us by running, jumping, rolling and running some more in the mud!  He was cold and muddy but so happy when he finally tired of the mud and dashed up the hill to the out house to go potty!  Everything he had on was muddy.  He had smeared his face.  He was a mess.  It was 22 degrees outside.  But he was delighted!

I said YES.  To the mud mess that day and for the next 3 days both at the park and at home.  My sweet babysitter had to clean up mud one day.  I've washed clothes and coats and shoes more days than I have not in the last 7 days.  I said YES to this little boy and his odd drive to feel the mud, the cold, the wet.  Did I want to clean up the mess - oh heck no.  But was it fantastic to stand at the edge of that baseball field and watch Espen tear it up!  Oh yea!  He was awesome to witness! 

So my sensory child craves "strange" sensations... I say YES more than most.  I am a stay at home mom for this very reason.  So that I can see his face and say YES to the craziest things.  We play in cool whip on the kitchen floor, dry pasta in the shower, mud all year long.  He is allowed to finger-paint his body.  He chalks his clothes and his skin.  I let him run outside with no shoes on in the dead of winter so he can feel the hard frozen ground with his feet.  We get a water gun full of warm water and squirt the frozen fence.  We bring snow inside and wear our rain coats outside in a storm.  We puddle stomp in most puddles.  We eat pudding with a straw and smash blueberries with our toes.  We rarely have on clean clothes (not from lack of trying)!  He is told yes to the strange and wonderful experiences that most of us will naturally shy away from.  We do it because it feels good!  We do it now because it helps my son.  I say YES... because the joy is worth it!

Does it make it harder when I say no... perhaps.  There are days when we just can not get in the mud.  When I am either in no mood or we have a plan to be elsewhere.  There are days when a mess is just not in my picture perfect world.  And when the answer is NO, there better be a good reason for him. 

My son is not unique in his desire to explore the world around him in a total way.  We just go about it to the biggest and best of our abilities!  I say YES!  Children need that and I am glad I can say it!