In the nearly 10 years of telling our tale, yesterday a situation happened that kept me awake and frustrated me. The blog and facebook have been a way for me to share our tales. They are not always pretty, not always funny. Sometimes people connect, sometimes it has helped me and others to feel less lonely and isolated in our journeys.
But yesterday.... I posted a hilarious situation. I used the ACTUAL conversation because it was funny. Identity was removed. I also used 2 pictures. I had no complaints and the situation involved a crazy thing my child did. I was called and told to remove it. That is correct; remove it. I conceded on one picture that it should be removed, partial views of other children were there. The conversation and other parts of the post were not harmful.
The conversation did not go well. I was talked over so I got mad and frustrated and yelled. In 10 years I have been scathing, used conversations and sometimes actually identified people. I have commented about school issues (mind you this is our 3rd school), community issues, business issues. The tales are oddly unique and not so much. Not a single time has any one called me. The person (who was not identified in the post) was not the caller. Let me be clear however, the caller and I have had one other incident concerning social media posts. At Christmas time, I questioned on a post why our school did not have a holiday program for my child to sing at. I apparently got people excited. I was emailed and told not to post school related things on social media unless I called and asked first. This funny story about Espen is not in any way shape or form the same type of situation.
It bothered me all night. I felt many things. To begin with I felt like I have done something wrong. This particular situation involved my child. It was funny. I was not upset or concerned about anyone or anything. I have done nothing wrong. It bothered me because I was specifically told/asked that if my posts involve anything school related, I need to ask permission. Which I can assure you I will not be doing. Questioning “authority”, bringing light to situations and informing people from my perspective is the point. Sharing our journey and the tales, concerns and situations that go with it. I was upset with feeling like I will never belong, that I am consistently under the bus, that by rocking the boat I in fact make things harder for my child. It bothered me because the call made me so frustrated I got mad. And then I cried. And hated it here. Yes that is correct. I try and try and no matter what we do not belong, and perhaps with my big mouth, my years of experience, our family situation, we will never belong. So I cried some more.
And this morning, with the first light of spring break shining upon us I deleted nearly everyone off my page who is associated with the school. Not to be malicious but to protect the innocent teachers and staff who do not need to be in between my mouth and the job. I deleted people who are “collectors” and just like to creep. I deleted anyone who has not had a real conversation with me. The fact of the matter is that I will say the exact words I write. The fact is that I question everything, advocate hard and sometimes it means people get uncomfortable and mad. I made some other changes and I will move on. I made a resolve to keep posting things from our perspective. I will be smarter about ensuring those I care most about are protected. This is our tale. You are welcome to join us and engage with us. I accept that I may occasionally say or post something that makes people crazy, it is my post. I accept there will probably be more calls and I will document that interaction at the request of my husband. I will move on today... because I have life to live... it is spring break.
