The blessing of a birthday. The gift of motherhood. They go hand in hand. For me, the birth of my child and Mother's Day fall very close together. Every year I am thankful for the opportunity to just be called MOM (MOMMY, MAMA, MOOOOOM ~ depends on the moment). I breathe in each moment (and some of them are not pretty).
Eight years ago a beautiful little boy entered this world. Today, he is strong and courageous. Talented and funny in so many ways. He is ornery and mischievous and super curious about his world. He is kind and generous. He is just one cool kid. And I am proud to be his mom. Eight years ago I looked down on his little face just moments after he was born and my life changed.
My heart swelled with love for this tiny baby who entered our lives. A love I had waited a long time for. As I sat there in the hospital I knew I had been blessed with this precious life and I promised him no matter what I'd love and protect him to the best of my ability. Not a day goes by without me telling him and showing him that he matters and I love him. My heart also made room for his birth mom (and much later for his birth dad who we generally know nothing about). I am so thankful every year for this generous woman. Her ability to love this little boy and choose me to be his mom is the greatest kind of courage.
These eight years have been filled with tremendous joy and frustrating anxiety. This endeavor called "parenthood" is not always a simple task. Eight years ago I decided to let this little dude get where he needed when he needed. I support, encourage, prompt and engage. I provide opportunities and direction. He is often free to explore, grow and attempt things as he desires. Sometimes this has meant making really hard decisions so that he can be where he is emotionally, physically, educationally and mentally. Sometimes it means just letting go and watching him manage on his own. Eight years ago I vowed to just love this little boy ~ and love him I do.
If I had to offer three bits of parenting advice for adoptive parents it would be this... make room in your heart to always be thankful to the woman who gave birth to this child. Secondly, let this child be a child ... let them grow and learn as their mind and body are ready to. There is no box, no mold, no simple age... be present and with them where they are. Lastly, enjoy the moments. All the moments. The good and the really ugly moments. Because after 8 years I assure you I am both saddened at how quickly it has gone and happy to be part of it all.
At the end of my day you will find me snuggled on the couch with this little boy who still enjoys a snuggle. And I am forever thankful to his birth mom for giving me this opportunity.
Happy Mother's Day to my child's birth mom....
And Happy Birthday to him... may both of you have the future you are destined to have and may it be full of love and peace.
