Sensational Birthday

My son turned 4!  It is with both happiness and sadness that I celebrated.  For my only child I have only this one chance to make every moment count!  He had a party a few days before hand and he had a great time!  The park is a fantastic place to spend a couple hours.  Keep it simple... we had cupcakes and gifts and he PLAYED.. as long as he wanted.  When he tired we left!  Perfect! 

Our child is mildly obsessive about random things.  One of which is that IF he knows a celebration or holiday is coming up, he will virtually ruin it by his constant questions, unwrapping of gifts and needless stress.  So after 4 years we just don't tell him WHEN things are!  For example, we put up tree at Christmas and we look festive!  He has an advent calendar and we can count days.  But we never tell him when.  Christmas eve we put out every single gift and make the place a wonderland of magic.  And BAM he starts his celebrations!  Otherwise each time I put a gift out it would be a battle to keep it unopened... and the stress would drive him (and me) nuts! 

So his birthday... he wakes quietly!  He had no notion of the day it was!  Found some nail polish I left out and took it to living room!  Painted his nails on my carpet (did make some drops) and saw as he was sitting there the gifts!  OH MAN .. he was so excited to wake us at 6:30am!!   And not only did he have a gift to open as he jumped into the bed, but he had the pretty red toes!!  So as soon as his 2 little gifts were unopened and parts everywhere they had to be put together and tried out!!  OF COURSE!  His mind would be completely out sorts if we didn't do it this way.  And by 7:30am we were trying to clean the carpet and getting outside to test these things!  He was happy and at peace with his world. 

So we had a grand day of fun and celebrating... the spots of nail polish are still on my carpet.  The fireman's water hose is drained and in the garage and the sand scoop has been used to dig a giant hole!  We lost $20 at the pizza place playing video games and riding the rides but we collected enough tickets to bring home yet another gun to shoot balls at mommy with!  And as he went to sleep he said THANK YOU FOR THE BIRTHDAY MOMMY... IT WAS AWESOME.  And so it was all worth it. 

As you think to yourself that I should try to say NO more and make him wait or go back to bed ... my child is told no plenty.  I am not soft or weak.  Life becomes a different pace and way when you live with a tiny boy with some quirky behaviors.  We all adjust.  Be thankful for your children who can wait and keep calm in the face of new things.  Our little boy has terrible time with new situations (even small ones like gifts under a tree) and transitions between things.  We adjust.  It is what life with a sensory kid!  Life is an adventure of sorts and we do the best we can.... to find the happy moments and hold onto them as long as we can!

Merry Go Round mishap

It was a glorious sunny day!  Espen did NOT want to go to school (does any child?).  There are 4 days of school left so I think we can manage to go!  When I picked him up of course I got the litany of what he did bad.  Today was a noisy loud day (end of year stuff) and he was troubled by noise.  He punched 3 kids when they got to loud & to close.  Hitting is bad yet for Espen the perceived fear of the noise is enough to set off his FIGHT response.  Yes he should be re-directed, "punished" and apologize.  So today (the ONLY in the whole year) the preschool got to go outside.  Because Espen punched he had to stay inside for the 30 minutes and sit in a chair.  WHAT THE WHAT.  I understand we can not hit our friends.  I understand it is not acceptable.  I understand it all.  Yet the gross motor play that will calm my child down was taken away instead of an alternative corrective measure.  And big surprise.... he acted out again when the kids came back inside.  So I hear all this and thank the teacher and take my child by the hand.  We talk for a few minutes as I'm buckeling him in his seat about school.  And he says to me "mom I hit them.  I apologized.  I know I should have said something or moved but I couldn't find a quiet spot and I was only one who didn't get to play.  I hate school".  I nearly cried because his vocabulary is amazing.  And if he is heard, he can vocalize what is happening.  So I explained in my mom way that we can't hit the children.  There are no reasons ever to hit anyone. 

It was sunny today and I had a plan!  We were going to Mahoney State Park.  I needed a park pass and there is a great park out there!  An adventure!  We stopped at the gas station before the park to get cash.  I had the transaction half complete and Espen wanders off and opens a door to a restroom and goes inside.  I could not leave the ATM and he was on a mission.  For the FIRST TIME, he went without being asked into the restroom and used the toilet!  He locked his stall, took care of his business and washed his hands.  I was waiting inside the restroom!  He was SO proud of himself and I was just as proud!  Although a bit nervous about this sense of independence he has.  So many things to talk to him about when he goes pee alone but for today, I am simply happy he did not pee his pants!!  It was a great thing! 

We had an awesome time.  Unfortunately there were some children his age he tried to play with who were mean spirited and kept calling him names.  After seeing his hurt look about why they ran FROM him I played with him and redirected his attention.  Then he decided to ride the merry go round with a group of older children.  He refused to sit in the middle but I knew was ready to go as fast as they were and he was holding on.  Just as I was thinking to take a picture, he slipped and his feet went flying.  They guy spinning them didn't notice right away that Espen was FLYING and holding on by shear strength.  The other 4 kids on the merry go round noticed and were yelling for him to HOLD ON!!  I acted fast so there were no pictures and I caught him just as he let go.  He was totally fine.  Unhurt.  Shocked.  Embarrassed that he flew off.  But to my surprise, the kids cheered for him and told him how brave and strong he was.  And he wanted to ride again, and ride it they all did!  I was afraid and shocked and amazed at my little boy.  And for 2 hours he played with these kids.  The boys were 6 & 7 and they played so nicely with him.  Included him, encouraged and taught.  It was a great time for Espen and for me.  They were just as fast and enjoyed climbing as he so I didn't have to worry that one of them would be hurt. 

Then he followed them UP the giant slide and tried to swing his legs over the slide to grab the pole leg and slide down.  He was not quite big enough and I managed to get him back inside the walls of the slide.  The older boys stopped doing that because Espen was not able to do it.  Impressive!  My heart was about to stop.  Two seriously freaky near accidents very close to each other.  It really is the story of my life.  I try not to over react or panic.  He manages.  With his lack of regard or feeling for pain it is always interesting what he finds to do and how he does it.   I thought today that there will be a day when I witness my child be injured seriously.  Thankfully it was not today. 

When it was time to go, he hugged all the kids in the family and looked the mom in the eye and THANKED her for letting the kids play with him.  He is really a gift.  She hugged him to.  It was amazing!

Oddly, I got to witness my child react to loud noises.  A large group came over from a field for a picture on the slides and the noise level was LOUD and the teacher was blowing a whistle and yelling.  I have never seen Espen in the situation and I was sad to see him jump down and HIDE under a slide in a very tight little spot.  I had to coax him out and promise him we would move away from the group.  He was shaking with fear.  I believe had a small child been near him, he would have punched them. 

So it turned into a great day for us.  Especially for Espen.  We ended with an ice cream cone adventure.  The punching is past.  We move on quickly.  Unfortunately, the ones who were punched won't and we will have issues.  But I proud of my little boy.  He is amazingly strong, charming and kind.